I Refuse to Die
I refuse to die
Even when I was a product of a leaking condom
Or a manifestation of a failed contraceptive
alternative
I refused to die
In a race against thousands of my sperm-celled kin
Most of who would have become better men than I am
today
I refused to die
From a childhood of adversity and malnutrition
Hunger and tears with my catarrh for staple food
Driven from school for lack of cheap tuition
When the government should fund my very education
I refused to die
As a teenager with none but the streets for a father
And the motherhood of women of questionable
character
On the streets where boys became fiends and drugs
addicts
And the same streets where girls became ‘nyashes’
I refused to die
Though I was an outcast ‘smelling Jew’
Among peers of colored-flag cult fraternities
A ‘konji’ infested teenage virgin
In a world where sex is lower than a handshake
I refused to die
Now I persevere a stubborn grown adult
In a world where I’m nothing but a mere statistic
Where my future is spelt before me by an underhanded
system
Under the thumb of avaricious and vile corporations
I refuse to die
Living on a minimum minimum wage
Daily hustling and eight to four toiling
Under the yoke of organized corporate share cropping
I refuse to die
Under the misguided rule of government puppets
And so called elected corporate controlled
governments
I refuse to die
Living under the behest of the four horsemen
Shell, Chevron-Texaco, ExxonMobil and British
petroleum
The underworld financial system under the guise of:
JP Morgan-Chase, Bank of America, Citibank and
Deustche Bank
Dark masters of the Federal Reserve System and
global liquidity
Barons of the Bretton Woods ‘downpressing’
institutions
IMF enforced economic austerity and structural
adjustment
I refuse to die
From a land of profane iniquity and hypocrisy
Where the church is now a business venture
And pastors steady make sure I go to church poor
But leave the house of God poorer than I came
I refuse to die
In a time when I live in the shadow of death
When the next girl I sleep with looks pretty
But I’ll surely have a burning penis next time I piss
Because she’s inherently laced with a VD
And if I’m lucky I’ll be diagnosed with HIV
I refuse to die
In a world of conspiracy and illuminati
Terrorists are paid by my own government
Doomsday scenarios and global warming
I refuse to die
When freedom of speech is a mental ideal
And what I say would land me in jail
Or put me in front of an assassin’s bullet
I refuse to die
I refuse to die because I’m already dead
Because I’m living to die and still dying to live
A man who is down cannot be afraid of falling
I refuse to die because I never had a chance to live
And I refuse to die because I cannot die twice
I have no choice but to live in all this vanity
I have no choice but to persevere albeit
existentially
So I refuse to die brother, oh I refuse to die
I will not die because I refuse to die.
wow
ReplyDeletevery powerful
love it
keep it coming
I find the article well written. This, for me, shows a commitment to excellence. It also points to a personal discipline without which this distinctive pen-manship is imposible. But it is the simplicity with which your ideas are conveyed that I admire most. It is indeed a long road from knowing something to explaining it in easily understandable terms. You have evolved as a writer since I last read you. I remember when I read your piece on truth. That piece had so many high sounding words, I got confused about its purpose. Sometimes the temptation to sound learned by the resort to big words does little service to the important task of communicating ideas. You seem to have overcome that.
ReplyDeleteHowever, yous peak so much of a world that has conspired to kill you. It looks in this write up like everything around you is programmed to work against you. You are quite the victim here, I must confess. From the circumstances of your birth to your pursuits as an adult nothing around you seems very helpful. I want to understand with you, because no one choses the circumstances of his birth. However, I cannot help but take note of the despair that seems to have saturated the entire write up. In fact your admission of 'death' towards the end is expected. The unexpected for me was your resolution to go on. You seem to be the first person to live on, even after your death. It is a relief though. Unfortunately, this consciousness that everything is organised to work against us is at the heart of the problem with Nigeria.
Instead of finding a reason to reinvent ourselves in the face of the aversity often to us by the twin forces of fate and fortune, many of are overwhelmed. Most resort to the blame game, blaming witches in the village, relatives who are doing well, or sometimes ancestors. Others find solace in prayer warriorism, visiting every house of worship for devine solutions, holding night vigils, fasting and making phony contrubutions to the growth of phony Churches. But there are also those who give into crime and drugs. For others, arsenal, Man U, Barca, Man City, Liverpool, Morinho and Real Madrid become the things for which we live for. The truth is, each time one of us is cornered he finds a way to blame the circumstances on something or some person other than himself or herself, as the case may be.
I think you are evolving as a writer and you can get better. You just need to keep at it. My suggestion will be that you use this important gift to direct social consciousness to industry and excellence. It may be true that our circumstanses are unfair but, so is life also: it is not fair; it never will be. We dont have to stop because it is. No matter what life throws at us, we have to make the best of it, through persistence, petience, hard work and faith in the God who promises to bless the work of our hands.